The Summer of Love

Life is nothing if not for the special people in it.  The people we know, the people we grew up with and the people who move us.  For all of our gadgets, life remains about the time spent together, face to face time, carrying on an actual conversation instead of hiding behind the emotional safety and protection afforded by glass.  Life is about moments together and creating memories that last a lifetime.  It's about bonding and telling those closest to us that we actually love them. 

This summer is not yet over.  Labor Day is still two weeks away but the events of this summer have defined it as one of the most special summers and most special times of my life. 

Summer begins on Memorial Day weekend.  Jason was over and was scheduled to stay from Saturday into Sunday.  Heading into that weekend he wanted so badly to stay for two nights.  I did too; two opportunities for bedtime stories and extra time with my little man is always incredible.  Maureen was in town that weekend and the Jones Beach Air Show performers were taking off and landing a few miles away at Republic Airport.  That Sunday was magical watching the planes come and go, including an CF-18, which is kind of like an F-18 but Canadian.  After watching the planes, we drove to Port Jefferson, which is a beautiful town on Long Island's North Shore.  We were going to meet Natalie after eating dinner there and she was going to take Jason home.  That's always a bummer kind of feeling at the end of our weekends together.  And then as we were eating dinner at Salsa Salsa, Natalie texted, "You can have Jason tonight if you drive him home by 1:00pm tomorrow."  Awesome!  An extra 18 hours might not seem like a big deal but that text lifted the bummer feeling, Jason's face lit up and it quickly became a festive night and our frozen yogurt seemed sweeter.  The perfect start to summer.

A few weeks later, Jason and I blasted off, with the help of a Southwest jet, for our annual Florida invasion.  Two women were waiting for us upon our arrival in Disney World - Trouble 2 and Trouble 2's Momma.  It was a great week that included time with Papa Jerry and Grandma Janis (welcome to the blog!) and the Dave Matthews Band.  As always, it was a special week that found us boarding a jet heading north all too quickly.  But it was a week full of created memories. 

The following weekend after returning from Florida, Maureen and I boarded a bus to Bethesda, MD, to visit my friend Tab (welcome!) and the Dave Matthews Band (two shows in 10 days!).  It was the first meeting between my girlfriend and closest friend. 

 

They seemed to hit it off in the pit pre show.  It was a great time, a weekend of laughter and catching up.  The concert itself was amazing.  It was Tab's 40-something show, my 13th and Maureen's 3rd.  The house lights went down moments after this picture was taken and the band opened what was an epic show with Ants Marching.  Maureen got her two favorites, Grey Street and You and Me.  And the band played some rare favorites such as Long Black Veil and Spoon. 

Through Twitter, we learned that Boyd Tinsley, the band's violinist, would be meeting fans following the show in the vicinity of our hotel.  Boyd plays some of the sweetest and most soulful music you'll ever hear.  My own personal favorite DMB song is Lie in Our Graves, a song that reminds you that you only have one shot to get things right while here on earth.  Boyd's solo is magical and when you hear him play it live, it's close to a religious experience.  As an example, click on this link and enjoy:

Boyd Working His Magic

It poured during the show (when we were covered) and continued after the show (when we weren't).  So the walk to Boyd's gathering was a wet one.  But one very well worth it.  Now keep in mind that this band's last six albums debuted at #1 on the charts and they're the highest grossing live act in the world.  So there is little reason for someone like Boyd to meet his fans following a 2:45 killer show.  Except that he is a real guy and loves his fans.  He spent time with everyone who showed up.  He took pictures, signed autographs and spoke with everyone.  And he took a picture with us!

Simply awesome!

I was 39 in that picture but am 40 now and in between there was a surprise party orchestrated by Maureen and my Mom (welcome!).  It was truly a surprise.  I thought Tab was heading to California - he had a ticket to the Mets-Dodgers game in LA that Monday.  What a ruse!  It was a special and memorable occasion shared with those who make this life special and fun.  Kerry, Dean, Kelly, Bob, Tom, Chris, Cliff, Kristy, Uncle Marty, Tom and Rhonda...and my boy were all present! 

 

Kerry sitting with one in the oven, Kelly, Bob, me and Dean

 

 

Chris, Tab, me and Tom

 

So for all the people in this post, I want to express my thanks.  You make my life exciting, adventurous, fun and amazing, and I love you for it.

 

How does one end such a summer?  Simple.  You end a long distance relationship that spanned eight states and lasted for three years.  And you shorten the distance from 1,000 miles to several inches.  Welcome back to NY, Maureen! 

 

 



Love you, baby!  Forever and a day! 

 

It's Official: I'm Difficult

So the robots roaming Clearwater, FL, have determined, in their infinitely numb wisdom, that I'm a difficult person.  Coming from them, that's a badge of honor!  Scientologists beware: I'm anathema to the brainwashing process!  And thank you dear mindless Scientologists.  I always wanted to use the word anathema.  Finally! 

This blog has taken a turn from a lovely lesbian to a loathsome L. Ron Hubbard loving leech. 

Just how was this precious honor bestowed upon me by this mindless "let's all follow a failed sci-fi writer" crowd?  Simple.  My ex remarried a Scientologist.  He seemed like a decent guy who did well by my son, Jason.  I am purposely skipping many personal details.  After all, break ups and divorces are a dime a dozen.  This entry contains two.  Now that's foreshadowing!  Can you guess how this entry ends?  Smart crowd!  But read on anyway...

One fine December 19 evening (oh I can recall details when I want to!) I arrived at their house on Eastern Long Island to take my boy to his Boy Scouts pack meeting.  My ex and her husband, Robert (no anonymity here; my blog!) said that they were leaving in 10 days to spend six weeks in Florida.  "So where is Jason going to stay?"  Pretty reasonable opening question on my part.  "Oh, we've enrolled him in a school in Clearwater" was Robert's unreasonable reply.  This led to a slightly louder and less amicable conversation in their kitchen.  Which school did this mindless idiot enroll my son in?  Clearwater Academy International, where little minds from all over the world get washed as their parents seek some sort of mind washing and wallet clearing training of their own in the Scientology Capital of the World!  Arrive with your thoughts, leave with ours.  The school is operated by Applied Scholastics, which instructs its students in some whackadoo "tech" instruction inspired by the failed sci-fi writer named above.  Jason leaving his school for six weeks to attend this mind-to-mush institution?  Never!  Adrenaline kicked in, and luckily so did logic.  I told Robert that Jason wasn't going and that if he required six weeks of Clearwater "training" to run his irrigation business (no offense, man, but you deliver water from point A to point B), that he was going to have to find other living arrangements for Jason during that time.  With some sort of Hubbard inspired balls, he said that "we're going anyway!"  Game on, Dillweed! 

Honestly, I was scared.  Nothing scares me more than my boy moving far away.  Losing him in any way is my Achilles Heel.  Couple that with a deluge of robotic programming that instructs followers to shun those who don't acknowledge the wonders and brilliance of this "religion," and the series of sleepless nights and increased blood pressure began. 

Robert and I got into it pretty good in his kitchen.  I was relentless and cut him down to size before taking Jason to his pack meeting.  I was seething and kicked his mental ass in his kitchen in front of his wife.  He went silent.  Mental Midget down! 

The next several days were spent researching this school and developing an obsession with Clearwater.  The more I learned, the scarier the prospect of Jason attending, no matter how slim, became.  I drove out there two days later, a Friday, and Natalie was home alone with Jason.  I unleashed on her, which I still feel badly about, but it had to be done.  Jason wasn't going and that was my final decision.  She cried.  Jason and I left.

I had the pleasure of answering Robert's phone calls that weekend.  I credit him for his persistence.  It was either persistence or he really enjoyed hearing me say, "Jason isn't going and that's not negotiable.  If you want to take a kid out of school and enroll him in some bullshit unaccredited institution, do it to your own son but you're not fucking up mine."  His persistence continued: "the school would work on Jason's NY school's curriculum."  "Really Robert, should I leave my pants up while you jerk me around?"  I love that line and am thankful that he provided me with an opportunity to say it...to him.

Maureen (girlfriend from previous post) was in town visiting me during this time.  I give her a lot of credit because I was a man possessed and so much of my mental energy was focused on Clearwater and keeping Jason out of it.  She was a brilliant support!  I'm certain that she, along with quite a few others, would agree that I'm difficult...

I decided to write a superbly legal sounding letter to a couple of school personnel at CAI,  which basically stated that they weren't to provide any educational or tutoring instruction to Jason at all without my expressed written consent (saying expressed written consent makes it superbly legal sounding).  I sent a copy to the Florida Department of Education, not that they had any sway over CAI given that the school was unaccredited.  But it sure looked good as a cc on the letter.  I also sent a copy to Jason's current school and must express gratitude to his principal for his support throughout this mess. 

Several days went by.  Since it was the holiday season the school was closed.  Robert's calls stopped.  I wasn't hearing from Natalie either.  That was the odd part because even though we're divorced we've always maintained regular communication.  Much of it concerned Jason.  But some of it was just kind of friendly and funny stuff.  So the silence was odd.  My Jason pick ups and drop offs were awkwardly silent and cold. 

And then came the morning of January 3.  Robert called me and stated that he realized they couldn't take Jason and enroll him without my consent.  Glad that sunk in!  I met them the next night at Chuck E Cheese to try to patch things up.  Robert and Natalie were still going to Florida but Jason was going to stay at a local friend's house and remain in NY.  Blood pressure normal! 

Only their trip lasted three weeks and they returned early.  Something obviously happened but I never spoke to Natalie about it. 

On the same Saturday that my hot Cherry Grove lesbian date from my previous blog post ended, Natalie called me and asked to meet me at her parents' house later that afternoon.  She said that there was a situation that she needed to tell me about.  I instantly thought that there was something medically wrong with her and got a bit scared.  Doesn't take much to remind you that we're humans with hearts rather than beings living as proscribed by a legal agreement.

Natalie and I stepped into her parents' backyard and she proceeded to tell me that things weren't good at home, that Robert was abusive (the details aren't necessary to repeat here) and that she was pursuing a divorce.  She said that she felt stupid for staying with him for so long before deciding to leave him.  It was a sad moment and she was very emotional.  Humans with hearts...

The days since have been rough for her, with lawyers and courts and a restraining order filed.  But we decided to have dinner with Jason last night.  And she filled me in on Robert's thinking and her take on the Clearwater situation.  She was thankful that I stood up to Robert because she didn't really want Jason to enroll in that school either.  She needed to see Clearwater to understand what it was her husband was going to pursue and ultimately leave her alone for six weeks for.  She said he became so controlling and abusive during that time - said that she was torn and should have pursued a divorce then.  And when the school called him to inform him that they received my letter and that Jason couldn't attend, he became enraged.  They labeled me as a difficult person. 

That's a proud label to have when you save your son!  Thank you, Clearwater!

Robert, I never had an issue with you prior to December.  But then you moved in on my turf and tried to steal my boy.  You got what you deserved. Dillweed!  Mind numb unoriginal thinking monster!  You voluntarily surrendered your mind and now you're going to lose everything else.  You're too dumb to be difficult!

 

My Lesbian Dates!

So I have a most awesome girlfriend...

 

NICE!! Hot and sexy and super sweet (we also have mutual friends who are drawn to cowboy hats)!

And...


she introduced me to and forced me to "date" her lesbian friend...



SUPER NICE!! 

That's me with my lesbian girlfriend in front of some sort of red carpet display advertising an underwear party on Cherry Grove, where lesbians the world over aspire to visit. You see, Cherry Grove is the gay and lesbian mecca! And even for a straight man, the place is fun as hell!  It's also funny as hell when famous comedians get drunk off their ass...

 

 

On cue...that's Wanda Sykes drunk off her ass and wearing a Wonder Woman cape. 

 

So how did my sexy lesbian girlfriend, Joanne, and I end up here?  Simple.  My super awesome, and super sexy, girlfriend, Maureen, encouraged us to meet up and go on our first date in April.  It was a wonderfully super conservative date over an Italian dinner.  Great conversation.  And great conversation.  And since it was a Tuesday night and a work night for me, the conversation unfortunately had to end.  She flew back to Northern California and we both knew that there would be a date #2.  Both because we really enjoyed date #1 and also because our dates slightly entertain and also slightly irk (in a loving way, of course) my non-lesbian girlfriend. 

 

Joanne and I had planned to go out last Tuesday night.  Smartly, she canceled and asked to reschedule.  So we did, and a sushi dinner (at Kotobuki in Hauppauge, NY) was planned for Friday night.  I picked her up at her brother's house and she told him that we'd go out for dinner and a drink afterwards and then she'd be home.  And, technically, that was true. 

 

As we sat down for dinner and downed some effective unfiltered sake, one of us brought up Cherry Grove.  I'd like to think it was her because I'm straight and a straight guy even under sake's influence shouldn't be leading off with Cherry Grove conversations.  Joanne mentioned that it had been years (as a gentleman, there will be no age references that might perturb the two women I'm simultaneously dating) since she had visited Fire Island.  As it was slightly after 7:00pm and neither of us had any time commitments until the following afternoon, we embraced our spontaneity and decided that our after dinner drinks would be downed on Cherry Grove.  Many after dinner drinks.  After dinner drinks at Cherry's, after dinner drinks while watching a Wonder Woman drag show (hello Wanda!) at the Ice Palace and more after dinner drinks back on Cherry's dance floor. 

 

We contemplated staying beyond the final ferry home at 12:40am.  It seemed so rational: drinking till 4:00am, crashing on the beach and then enjoying some delicious breakfast pizza at Cherry's Pizza before catching the 8:00am ferry home, but we decided against that after some quick smart phone research revealed that the Ice Palace was booked for the night - not that the beach during a rainy night wouldn't have been comfortable. 

 

So Joanne will eventually visit NY again and we'll inevitably enjoy date #3.  We'll go out on a Friday or Saturday night to allow for some impromptu multi-day enjoyment.  And in between now and then maybe I'll get engaged.  That's seems like the right thing to do in between lesbian dates. 

 

In all seriousness, Maureen and Joanne are amazing women and are best friends...at least for now :-)