Bachelor pad...RIP!
After 1,226 days since sending Maureen a "hi, were you the teacher in the classroom I volunteered in back in 1989..." Facebook message, she and her youngest daughter Caitlyn (aka Trouble 2) moved in today. I'm really not a math savant. That wondrous math example was brought to you with the help of Excel.
Our lives kind of intertwined. Twice. When I was a 15-year old going through an internal pity party and barely earning grades higher than D's in 10th grade, my friend Doug decided to volunteer that summer at United Cerebral Palsy's Smith Lane campus in Commack, NY. And by "decided," I mean his mother thought it would be a wonderfully rich experience that would get him the hell out of the house a couple of times a week. My mom also thought it was a wonderful idea and asked me if I'd like to join Doug in this volunteer venture that summer. And as the story goes, I would be spending a couple of days the hell out of my house too. Or so I thought (suspenseful paragraph ending!).
I didn't know what to expect. Well, that's not true. I fully expected to be volunteering for some middle aged frumpy teacher. And after Doug's mom dropped us off the first morning that July and we reported to our classrooms, I walked in and met Maureen. She was 21 at the time, and for a 15 year old our ages were a world apart. She drove and had a license to do so. She went to college. Away to college! What surprised me the most was that I trusted her instantly during a time in my life when I didn't trust easily. I trusted her with that experience. And the fact of the matter is that that summer experience remains the professional experience that shaped me the most and would be the most impactful to my career. Who knew?! At the time I understood that my life was changing in a very positive way. I entered that experience as an indifferent 15-year old who was a little bitter at the world.
The students in our classroom were developmentally disabled. Epilepsy, mental retardation and autism were their diagnoses. Some couldn't talk. Some couldn't walk. Some couldn't do either. Yet they gave a tremendous effort every day and loved life. They absolutely loved life! As young as they were, they were teaching me an invaluable life lesson that provided a much needed wake up call.
Maureen's enthusiasm not only for teaching but also for life was infectious! So energetic, encouraging and motivating. I wanted to be her. I grew up idolizing athletes and rock stars. But that summer, maybe I matured a little bit. I wanted to be her and move and motivate people like she did. I wanted to embrace life like she did. I wanted to laugh and make others laugh like she did.
It was a magical summer. I realized during that experience that my life was my own and that my future was mine and for the first time in a long time I cared about my life's direction and understood that I controlled my destiny.
The final day of that summer program was a day I dreaded. It loomed large the last couple of weeks. I knew that I'd miss the experience and the people who played key roles in it. And when 2:30pm rolled around on that final day and it was time to say good bye to the kids, the sadness set in. We were outside as they boarded their buses and headed home. I said goodbye to the aides in the class. And then came the most dreaded hug of my life. It was time to say goodbye to Maureen. I welled up immediately afterwards. My next door neighbor was also a teacher in that school and drove there and back every day - I didn't know she taught there until the summer program began. I got in Suzanne's car and couldn't speak. I couldn't speak the whole way home. And then we pulled up her driveway and I got out of the car and I ran into my house and into my room and onto my bed and cried.
Maureen was pursuing her Masters Degree at SUNY Geneseo that fall and she gave me her address. We wrote each other a few times and I filled her in on some of life's challenges that helped her understand why I enjoyed that experience so much. Then life happened and we lost touch.
Life happened. Careers progressed. And as my career progressed I was able to appreciate the 1989 experience on a different level. I wanted to thank Maureen. But I couldn't find her. I tried looking her up a few times each year. Then came Facebook. One day I was sitting at my computer at work and needed to verify a NY teacher's certificate. Then I realized that Maureen had to be listed in that database. Up popped her married name. Ten seconds later I plugged that name into Facebook and up popped a 6-year old girl eating chocolate. It was like I was staring at Maureen as a child. I knew I finally found her. I quickly wrote a private message to her asking if she was the Maureen who taught at Smith Lane in 1989. That evening she replied with a Yes! I then wrote her the thank you message I always wanted to. The person most responsible for my professional success and fulfillment was now aware of the role she played in helping me achieve it. The evaluation she gave me at the end of that summer was inspiring. It was like someone found something good inside of me and brought it to the forefront.
Life happened. We were both divorced. She ended up moving to Georgia. We decided to meet at Disney World that summer. And then we decided to meet in NY again that October. And again that December. And then in Charlotte in February. And well you get the point. Our lives intertwined again and for several years we had a long distance relationship.
1,226 days later and we now share the same room. No more goodbye hugs!
It's been a great week! Got to spend the weekend catching up with Tab in Atlantic City. Got some new roommates. Heading down for some golf time with my dad in Florida tomorrow (goodbye new roommates!) and then after returning Saturday night will be meeting up with the boys at the Jets game on Sunday. And then I get to return home...
A fitting end to the Summer of Love!
And to the best girl next door ever and her hubby...congrats Kerry and Dean and welcome to the world Alexis Rae!
