"Republic tower, Cherokee 5-4-1 sierra papa at runway 1-niner ready for takeoff."
"Cherokee 5-4-1 sierra papa, cleared for takeoff, runway 1-niner."
Some of my fondest memories as a young child growing up in Brooklyn, NY, included time spent with my grandmother, circa 1977, perched atop the international arrivals terminal at JFK. It was at that spot and at that age where aviation took on a mystique and fascination that would forever play a part in my life. I'm sure my grandmother was doing my sleep-deprived parents a favor as they were tending to my infant baby brother. As they were busy changing diapers and filling bottles and making silly faces and sillier noises, my grandmother and I were soaking in the sights and sounds of big birds taking off and landing on runway 31 left. I don't know how many times my grandmother took me to the top of that terminal, but looking back at life's special people and special times, what I would give to have one more moment taking in that scene with her. Just one.
My grandparents lived across the street at the time. I suppose that back in those days families were less scattered. So I was lucky enough to spend a lot of time with my grandmother. And she would feed me by putting food on a fork and pretending it was an airplane.
While she did that she wore a beautiful heart shaped diamond necklace, given to her by my grandfather. There was a single stone in the middle of the heart.
I was fortunate enough to spend many special moments with my grandmother. We shared a unique and unbreakable bond and she clearly made an indelible mark on my life. She watched her grandson grow from infant to young man and helped me get through teething and the teen years before guiding me as an adult. She called things as they were. I didn't always like or want to agree with what she said. But it was like she was spot on and I could either accept her wisdom and the inner disappointment that sometimes went along with that or ignore her advice and eventually grow into a lesser man.
I loved her. She passed away in 1999 and I can still feel the emotions of that day. As all special people do, they live on within us. Their wisdom and guidance live on and continue to impact the world by impacting us.
The roar of an airplane overhead brings a smile to my face and peace to my heart. It brings back special memories with a special person. It's time I'll never get back but it's also time that will never get away. Memories don't fade.
My grandmother never met Maureen. But she did get to see the positive changes that Maureen made in my life - that experience she gave me to change myself and to take ownership of my life. My grandmother witnessed the transformation that has been mentioned in previous posts and I know that she was thankful that I was given that opportunity.
One of my life's goals was to earn a private pilot's license. From the time I was a teenager this was something I wanted to pursue. But for one reason or another, it remained on my to-do list. Then came last Christmas. Maureen is a go-getter! And so she went and got me a gift certificate for my first flying lesson. I had a date with the sky! Little did she know that she was creating a monster - a sky monster!
I took my first lesson on February 23. After climbing into the Piper, my instructor went through the start up checklist and started the engine. He then pointed out the throttle and rudder pedals and had me taxi to runway 32 at Republic Airport in Farmingdale, NY. Up until that moment I had flown countless commercial flights. What I was about to experience dwarfed commercial flying. We approached the runway, put the flaps down 10 degrees and requested clearance from the tower. I was giddy and anxious and happy and thrilled and I couldn't believe I was moments away from flying. We received clearance and my instructor told me to taxi onto the runway and apply full throttle. Who was I to argue! When the plane sped up to 60 knots I pulled back on the stick and we were sky bound! Peaceful, beautiful and serene. Many years passed by since those days watching over runway 31 left, but these two experiences felt linked. And the women responsible for providing me with these rich experiences seemed linked, too, in a special way.
The time was coming to ask Maureen a certain question. I wanted the moment to be special and memorable. For a while I was struggling to think of a way to do it. I wanted to do it in a unique way. Then one day while at the gym it hit me. And from there I drove to the flight school, which was only a few blocks away from the gym and proposed an idea for my next flight. My instructor was on board with my idea. It was a go!
"Cherokee 5-4-1 sierra papa, cleared for takeoff."
And with that I throttled up and taxied onto runway 19 with Maureen, Caitlyn and my instructor, Gustavo, on board. We took off and headed out over the Captree bridge and over Robert Moses Beach. And then Gustavo asked me if I wanted to take a break. So he took the controls while I tended to another in-flight matter.
At some point in this video you'll see me take out a white box. Within that box contained a stone once worn in the center of a heart-shaped necklace by a woman who was responsible for my love and fascination for things that fly in the sky. Lucky stone to adorn two beautiful women.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CL69Jm0XdWM
Love you, Grandma!
Love you, Maureen!
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Oh Deer!
I created this blog to share life's exhilarating experiences: hot lesbian dates, turning long distance relationships into same-bed relationships...that kind of thing. I didn't create this blog to inform you what it would be like to drive into a deer at 60mph. But it happened and I have a blog, so here goes...
Yeah, it really did happen.
Yeah, it was fucking unreal.
Okay, I'll get to the details. Patience people!
I dropped Jason off Sunday evening following a great weekend that included Adventureland, milkshakes and playgrounds. Everything leading up to the drop off and the subsequent drive home went as smoothly as the previous 180 something weekends I've had him since becoming the coolest single dad around. Only, as I was leaving I realized it was 7:15pm and nearly 30 minutes later than my usual departure. So I made the decision not to stop off at the Patchogue Starbucks for an iced coffee as I typically do on my way home. Knowing I was going to be making the hour long trip sans a pit stop, I used the bathroom before leaving. Every second counts...
With an empty bladder, I said goodbye to Jason, Dylan, Natalie and Bella (who usually has an empty bladder when she sees me, but that's a tale for another blog post) and hit the road. Typical fall Sunday night, typical fall Sunday night traffic.
Heading west on Sunrise Highway all was calm as I was passing through the Moriches area. No one in front of me. No one behind me. Relaxing.
And then what happened next took one and a half seconds max.
I was driving in the right lane doing a few clicks north of 60mph. Sometimes you can spot deer grazing by the shoulder of the road. But that's where they typically remain. Then, in an instant, a deer ran right in front of my car from the median. Impact was imminent. He was running from left to right. He was too close for me to shed any speed. Fate is a funny thing. No one in front of me, no one behind me. Impact. He flew up and to the right. There was no way he survived. At that moment I was thankful that I drove a Santa Fe and nothing else with a lower hood (the reasons why should be obvious).
I continued driving west. The car seemed undamaged and drove well, smooth with no rattling or anything to give me a reason to stop. About 20 minutes later I called Maureen and let her know what happened. She asked if I was okay and if the car was okay. Yes to both.
As I exited off the Southern State Parkway and onto Route 109 west in Farmingdale I spotted a trooper who pulled someone over on the exit ramp. I slowed down to pass them. Then as I accelerated I noticed a cloud of smoke in my rearview mirror. Trouble. Then as I pulled onto Route 109 and pulled onto the shoulder I noticed smoke coming from under the hood. More trouble.
I took my phone and left the car before saying goodbye to Maureen and then calling 911. Turns out the front of my car sustained a decent amount of damage, including a busted radiator which accounted for the overheating and smoke. The car is in the shop and will be repaired in time. And from what many people have said, I am fine and that's the important thing.
.
It was one of the most freakish, scariest and saddest moments of my life. And it all happened in an instant. For whatever the reason, this world works in funny ways. Had the deer crossed the road two seconds earlier or two seconds later our paths would have crossed without incident. Had I decided to stop at Starbucks and skipped the bathroom before hitting the road, that deer would have safely crossed the highway and my radiator would still be functioning properly. But as fate would have it, that deer and I met at the exact same place at the exact same time.
Yeah, it really did happen.
Yeah, it was fucking unreal.
Okay, I'll get to the details. Patience people!
I dropped Jason off Sunday evening following a great weekend that included Adventureland, milkshakes and playgrounds. Everything leading up to the drop off and the subsequent drive home went as smoothly as the previous 180 something weekends I've had him since becoming the coolest single dad around. Only, as I was leaving I realized it was 7:15pm and nearly 30 minutes later than my usual departure. So I made the decision not to stop off at the Patchogue Starbucks for an iced coffee as I typically do on my way home. Knowing I was going to be making the hour long trip sans a pit stop, I used the bathroom before leaving. Every second counts...
With an empty bladder, I said goodbye to Jason, Dylan, Natalie and Bella (who usually has an empty bladder when she sees me, but that's a tale for another blog post) and hit the road. Typical fall Sunday night, typical fall Sunday night traffic.
Heading west on Sunrise Highway all was calm as I was passing through the Moriches area. No one in front of me. No one behind me. Relaxing.
And then what happened next took one and a half seconds max.
I was driving in the right lane doing a few clicks north of 60mph. Sometimes you can spot deer grazing by the shoulder of the road. But that's where they typically remain. Then, in an instant, a deer ran right in front of my car from the median. Impact was imminent. He was running from left to right. He was too close for me to shed any speed. Fate is a funny thing. No one in front of me, no one behind me. Impact. He flew up and to the right. There was no way he survived. At that moment I was thankful that I drove a Santa Fe and nothing else with a lower hood (the reasons why should be obvious).
I continued driving west. The car seemed undamaged and drove well, smooth with no rattling or anything to give me a reason to stop. About 20 minutes later I called Maureen and let her know what happened. She asked if I was okay and if the car was okay. Yes to both.
As I exited off the Southern State Parkway and onto Route 109 west in Farmingdale I spotted a trooper who pulled someone over on the exit ramp. I slowed down to pass them. Then as I accelerated I noticed a cloud of smoke in my rearview mirror. Trouble. Then as I pulled onto Route 109 and pulled onto the shoulder I noticed smoke coming from under the hood. More trouble.
I took my phone and left the car before saying goodbye to Maureen and then calling 911. Turns out the front of my car sustained a decent amount of damage, including a busted radiator which accounted for the overheating and smoke. The car is in the shop and will be repaired in time. And from what many people have said, I am fine and that's the important thing.
.
It was one of the most freakish, scariest and saddest moments of my life. And it all happened in an instant. For whatever the reason, this world works in funny ways. Had the deer crossed the road two seconds earlier or two seconds later our paths would have crossed without incident. Had I decided to stop at Starbucks and skipped the bathroom before hitting the road, that deer would have safely crossed the highway and my radiator would still be functioning properly. But as fate would have it, that deer and I met at the exact same place at the exact same time.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
41
Ironies come in 41's.
Maureen and I arrived at the Tampa Fairgrounds sometime during the late afternoon hours on July 17. Why? The answer might surprise you given previous posts on this blog, but we arrived to tailgate prior to the Dave Matthews Band concert that night. As we opened our first beverages, said cheers and enjoyed our first sip before enjoying many more sips, we heard a live DMB song playing on a fellow concertgoer's radio and Maureen asked which song it was. The answer was a DMB classic that always sounds great live: #41. The song was instantly added to Maureen's set list wish list. And they played it that night!
This is a live version of #41 from the band's show at Wrigley Field in 2010:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnS485DU-UE
The 41 irony doesn't end there. That hardly qualifies as irony, anyway.
As noted in my previous post, Maureen made the decision to move up and move in on September 3. Life has been great since! It was great before, and Maureen had many years prior made an indelible mark on my life - a very positive mark! Terminating the long distance part of our long term, long distance relationship was a bold, healthy and exciting move. It brought us closer in many ways. Ending each day heart to heart is very special. It's a great love. And given our kinda whacky personalities in addition to the presence of her witty and energetic younger daughter, it's an insane household! It's fun and special and always entertaining.
Maureen had submitted her resume for several teaching positions in the Long Island and NYC (that's New York City for those of you in super distant locations). She interviewed at one NYC public school days after moving up. No dice.
Then came another call. A call from PS 41. Now that's irony! Maureen ventured into the city for the interview. She loved them. They loved her. A match! Hired! "I'm coming slow but speeding..."
This blog has been about love. The love of friends, fatherhood, family, lesbian dates and the Dave Matthews Band. But it's one love that stands out as a unique love story. Finding Maureen following that magical summer of 1989 seemed to take an eternity. And 21 years is certainly a long time. It's a long enough time to forget faces from the past and it provides a long enough time to give up on searching for someone who made a difference in your life.
Then came 2:34pm on April 26, 2010. A quick Facebook search after entering her married name revealed what seemed to be Maureen as a young girl on her profile pic. It was her daughter and I knew that after 21 years, I had found Maureen. A short private Facebook message was sent to her in order to confirm what I happily knew was the truth.
That message was written 41 months ago today.
Our run continues and life has been great together. But this blog wouldn't be complete without revealing a new piece of jewelry! (Scroll down...this is so exciting!!!!)
Maureen and I arrived at the Tampa Fairgrounds sometime during the late afternoon hours on July 17. Why? The answer might surprise you given previous posts on this blog, but we arrived to tailgate prior to the Dave Matthews Band concert that night. As we opened our first beverages, said cheers and enjoyed our first sip before enjoying many more sips, we heard a live DMB song playing on a fellow concertgoer's radio and Maureen asked which song it was. The answer was a DMB classic that always sounds great live: #41. The song was instantly added to Maureen's set list wish list. And they played it that night!
This is a live version of #41 from the band's show at Wrigley Field in 2010:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnS485DU-UE
The 41 irony doesn't end there. That hardly qualifies as irony, anyway.
As noted in my previous post, Maureen made the decision to move up and move in on September 3. Life has been great since! It was great before, and Maureen had many years prior made an indelible mark on my life - a very positive mark! Terminating the long distance part of our long term, long distance relationship was a bold, healthy and exciting move. It brought us closer in many ways. Ending each day heart to heart is very special. It's a great love. And given our kinda whacky personalities in addition to the presence of her witty and energetic younger daughter, it's an insane household! It's fun and special and always entertaining.
Maureen had submitted her resume for several teaching positions in the Long Island and NYC (that's New York City for those of you in super distant locations). She interviewed at one NYC public school days after moving up. No dice.
Then came another call. A call from PS 41. Now that's irony! Maureen ventured into the city for the interview. She loved them. They loved her. A match! Hired! "I'm coming slow but speeding..."
This blog has been about love. The love of friends, fatherhood, family, lesbian dates and the Dave Matthews Band. But it's one love that stands out as a unique love story. Finding Maureen following that magical summer of 1989 seemed to take an eternity. And 21 years is certainly a long time. It's a long enough time to forget faces from the past and it provides a long enough time to give up on searching for someone who made a difference in your life.
Then came 2:34pm on April 26, 2010. A quick Facebook search after entering her married name revealed what seemed to be Maureen as a young girl on her profile pic. It was her daughter and I knew that after 21 years, I had found Maureen. A short private Facebook message was sent to her in order to confirm what I happily knew was the truth.
That message was written 41 months ago today.
Our run continues and life has been great together. But this blog wouldn't be complete without revealing a new piece of jewelry! (Scroll down...this is so exciting!!!!)
Those are my new bracelets and they were created by Maureen's daughter. That is the jewelry you were expecting to see, right?
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
New Roommates
Bachelor pad...RIP!
After 1,226 days since sending Maureen a "hi, were you the teacher in the classroom I volunteered in back in 1989..." Facebook message, she and her youngest daughter Caitlyn (aka Trouble 2) moved in today. I'm really not a math savant. That wondrous math example was brought to you with the help of Excel.
Our lives kind of intertwined. Twice. When I was a 15-year old going through an internal pity party and barely earning grades higher than D's in 10th grade, my friend Doug decided to volunteer that summer at United Cerebral Palsy's Smith Lane campus in Commack, NY. And by "decided," I mean his mother thought it would be a wonderfully rich experience that would get him the hell out of the house a couple of times a week. My mom also thought it was a wonderful idea and asked me if I'd like to join Doug in this volunteer venture that summer. And as the story goes, I would be spending a couple of days the hell out of my house too. Or so I thought (suspenseful paragraph ending!).
I didn't know what to expect. Well, that's not true. I fully expected to be volunteering for some middle aged frumpy teacher. And after Doug's mom dropped us off the first morning that July and we reported to our classrooms, I walked in and met Maureen. She was 21 at the time, and for a 15 year old our ages were a world apart. She drove and had a license to do so. She went to college. Away to college! What surprised me the most was that I trusted her instantly during a time in my life when I didn't trust easily. I trusted her with that experience. And the fact of the matter is that that summer experience remains the professional experience that shaped me the most and would be the most impactful to my career. Who knew?! At the time I understood that my life was changing in a very positive way. I entered that experience as an indifferent 15-year old who was a little bitter at the world.
The students in our classroom were developmentally disabled. Epilepsy, mental retardation and autism were their diagnoses. Some couldn't talk. Some couldn't walk. Some couldn't do either. Yet they gave a tremendous effort every day and loved life. They absolutely loved life! As young as they were, they were teaching me an invaluable life lesson that provided a much needed wake up call.
Maureen's enthusiasm not only for teaching but also for life was infectious! So energetic, encouraging and motivating. I wanted to be her. I grew up idolizing athletes and rock stars. But that summer, maybe I matured a little bit. I wanted to be her and move and motivate people like she did. I wanted to embrace life like she did. I wanted to laugh and make others laugh like she did.
It was a magical summer. I realized during that experience that my life was my own and that my future was mine and for the first time in a long time I cared about my life's direction and understood that I controlled my destiny.
The final day of that summer program was a day I dreaded. It loomed large the last couple of weeks. I knew that I'd miss the experience and the people who played key roles in it. And when 2:30pm rolled around on that final day and it was time to say good bye to the kids, the sadness set in. We were outside as they boarded their buses and headed home. I said goodbye to the aides in the class. And then came the most dreaded hug of my life. It was time to say goodbye to Maureen. I welled up immediately afterwards. My next door neighbor was also a teacher in that school and drove there and back every day - I didn't know she taught there until the summer program began. I got in Suzanne's car and couldn't speak. I couldn't speak the whole way home. And then we pulled up her driveway and I got out of the car and I ran into my house and into my room and onto my bed and cried.
Maureen was pursuing her Masters Degree at SUNY Geneseo that fall and she gave me her address. We wrote each other a few times and I filled her in on some of life's challenges that helped her understand why I enjoyed that experience so much. Then life happened and we lost touch.
Life happened. Careers progressed. And as my career progressed I was able to appreciate the 1989 experience on a different level. I wanted to thank Maureen. But I couldn't find her. I tried looking her up a few times each year. Then came Facebook. One day I was sitting at my computer at work and needed to verify a NY teacher's certificate. Then I realized that Maureen had to be listed in that database. Up popped her married name. Ten seconds later I plugged that name into Facebook and up popped a 6-year old girl eating chocolate. It was like I was staring at Maureen as a child. I knew I finally found her. I quickly wrote a private message to her asking if she was the Maureen who taught at Smith Lane in 1989. That evening she replied with a Yes! I then wrote her the thank you message I always wanted to. The person most responsible for my professional success and fulfillment was now aware of the role she played in helping me achieve it. The evaluation she gave me at the end of that summer was inspiring. It was like someone found something good inside of me and brought it to the forefront.
Life happened. We were both divorced. She ended up moving to Georgia. We decided to meet at Disney World that summer. And then we decided to meet in NY again that October. And again that December. And then in Charlotte in February. And well you get the point. Our lives intertwined again and for several years we had a long distance relationship.
1,226 days later and we now share the same room. No more goodbye hugs!
It's been a great week! Got to spend the weekend catching up with Tab in Atlantic City. Got some new roommates. Heading down for some golf time with my dad in Florida tomorrow (goodbye new roommates!) and then after returning Saturday night will be meeting up with the boys at the Jets game on Sunday. And then I get to return home...
A fitting end to the Summer of Love!
And to the best girl next door ever and her hubby...congrats Kerry and Dean and welcome to the world Alexis Rae!
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
The Summer of Love
Life is nothing if not for the special people in it. The people we know, the people we grew up with and the people who move us. For all of our gadgets, life remains about the time spent together, face to face time, carrying on an actual conversation instead of hiding behind the emotional safety and protection afforded by glass. Life is about moments together and creating memories that last a lifetime. It's about bonding and telling those closest to us that we actually love them.
This summer is not yet over. Labor Day is still two weeks away but the events of this summer have defined it as one of the most special summers and most special times of my life.
Summer begins on Memorial Day weekend. Jason was over and was scheduled to stay from Saturday into Sunday. Heading into that weekend he wanted so badly to stay for two nights. I did too; two opportunities for bedtime stories and extra time with my little man is always incredible. Maureen was in town that weekend and the Jones Beach Air Show performers were taking off and landing a few miles away at Republic Airport. That Sunday was magical watching the planes come and go, including an CF-18, which is kind of like an F-18 but Canadian. After watching the planes, we drove to Port Jefferson, which is a beautiful town on Long Island's North Shore. We were going to meet Natalie after eating dinner there and she was going to take Jason home. That's always a bummer kind of feeling at the end of our weekends together. And then as we were eating dinner at Salsa Salsa, Natalie texted, "You can have Jason tonight if you drive him home by 1:00pm tomorrow." Awesome! An extra 18 hours might not seem like a big deal but that text lifted the bummer feeling, Jason's face lit up and it quickly became a festive night and our frozen yogurt seemed sweeter. The perfect start to summer.
A few weeks later, Jason and I blasted off, with the help of a Southwest jet, for our annual Florida invasion. Two women were waiting for us upon our arrival in Disney World - Trouble 2 and Trouble 2's Momma. It was a great week that included time with Papa Jerry and Grandma Janis (welcome to the blog!) and the Dave Matthews Band. As always, it was a special week that found us boarding a jet heading north all too quickly. But it was a week full of created memories.
The following weekend after returning from Florida, Maureen and I boarded a bus to Bethesda, MD, to visit my friend Tab (welcome!) and the Dave Matthews Band (two shows in 10 days!). It was the first meeting between my girlfriend and closest friend.
They seemed to hit it off in the pit pre show. It was a great time, a weekend of laughter and catching up. The concert itself was amazing. It was Tab's 40-something show, my 13th and Maureen's 3rd. The house lights went down moments after this picture was taken and the band opened what was an epic show with Ants Marching. Maureen got her two favorites, Grey Street and You and Me. And the band played some rare favorites such as Long Black Veil and Spoon.
Through Twitter, we learned that Boyd Tinsley, the band's violinist, would be meeting fans following the show in the vicinity of our hotel. Boyd plays some of the sweetest and most soulful music you'll ever hear. My own personal favorite DMB song is Lie in Our Graves, a song that reminds you that you only have one shot to get things right while here on earth. Boyd's solo is magical and when you hear him play it live, it's close to a religious experience. As an example, click on this link and enjoy:
Boyd Working His Magic
It poured during the show (when we were covered) and continued after the show (when we weren't). So the walk to Boyd's gathering was a wet one. But one very well worth it. Now keep in mind that this band's last six albums debuted at #1 on the charts and they're the highest grossing live act in the world. So there is little reason for someone like Boyd to meet his fans following a 2:45 killer show. Except that he is a real guy and loves his fans. He spent time with everyone who showed up. He took pictures, signed autographs and spoke with everyone. And he took a picture with us!
Simply awesome!
I was 39 in that picture but am 40 now and in between there was a surprise party orchestrated by Maureen and my Mom (welcome!). It was truly a surprise. I thought Tab was heading to California - he had a ticket to the Mets-Dodgers game in LA that Monday. What a ruse! It was a special and memorable occasion shared with those who make this life special and fun. Kerry, Dean, Kelly, Bob, Tom, Chris, Cliff, Kristy, Uncle Marty, Tom and Rhonda...and my boy were all present!
.JPG)
.JPG)
This summer is not yet over. Labor Day is still two weeks away but the events of this summer have defined it as one of the most special summers and most special times of my life.
Summer begins on Memorial Day weekend. Jason was over and was scheduled to stay from Saturday into Sunday. Heading into that weekend he wanted so badly to stay for two nights. I did too; two opportunities for bedtime stories and extra time with my little man is always incredible. Maureen was in town that weekend and the Jones Beach Air Show performers were taking off and landing a few miles away at Republic Airport. That Sunday was magical watching the planes come and go, including an CF-18, which is kind of like an F-18 but Canadian. After watching the planes, we drove to Port Jefferson, which is a beautiful town on Long Island's North Shore. We were going to meet Natalie after eating dinner there and she was going to take Jason home. That's always a bummer kind of feeling at the end of our weekends together. And then as we were eating dinner at Salsa Salsa, Natalie texted, "You can have Jason tonight if you drive him home by 1:00pm tomorrow." Awesome! An extra 18 hours might not seem like a big deal but that text lifted the bummer feeling, Jason's face lit up and it quickly became a festive night and our frozen yogurt seemed sweeter. The perfect start to summer.
A few weeks later, Jason and I blasted off, with the help of a Southwest jet, for our annual Florida invasion. Two women were waiting for us upon our arrival in Disney World - Trouble 2 and Trouble 2's Momma. It was a great week that included time with Papa Jerry and Grandma Janis (welcome to the blog!) and the Dave Matthews Band. As always, it was a special week that found us boarding a jet heading north all too quickly. But it was a week full of created memories.
The following weekend after returning from Florida, Maureen and I boarded a bus to Bethesda, MD, to visit my friend Tab (welcome!) and the Dave Matthews Band (two shows in 10 days!). It was the first meeting between my girlfriend and closest friend.
They seemed to hit it off in the pit pre show. It was a great time, a weekend of laughter and catching up. The concert itself was amazing. It was Tab's 40-something show, my 13th and Maureen's 3rd. The house lights went down moments after this picture was taken and the band opened what was an epic show with Ants Marching. Maureen got her two favorites, Grey Street and You and Me. And the band played some rare favorites such as Long Black Veil and Spoon.
Through Twitter, we learned that Boyd Tinsley, the band's violinist, would be meeting fans following the show in the vicinity of our hotel. Boyd plays some of the sweetest and most soulful music you'll ever hear. My own personal favorite DMB song is Lie in Our Graves, a song that reminds you that you only have one shot to get things right while here on earth. Boyd's solo is magical and when you hear him play it live, it's close to a religious experience. As an example, click on this link and enjoy:
Boyd Working His Magic
It poured during the show (when we were covered) and continued after the show (when we weren't). So the walk to Boyd's gathering was a wet one. But one very well worth it. Now keep in mind that this band's last six albums debuted at #1 on the charts and they're the highest grossing live act in the world. So there is little reason for someone like Boyd to meet his fans following a 2:45 killer show. Except that he is a real guy and loves his fans. He spent time with everyone who showed up. He took pictures, signed autographs and spoke with everyone. And he took a picture with us!
Simply awesome!
I was 39 in that picture but am 40 now and in between there was a surprise party orchestrated by Maureen and my Mom (welcome!). It was truly a surprise. I thought Tab was heading to California - he had a ticket to the Mets-Dodgers game in LA that Monday. What a ruse! It was a special and memorable occasion shared with those who make this life special and fun. Kerry, Dean, Kelly, Bob, Tom, Chris, Cliff, Kristy, Uncle Marty, Tom and Rhonda...and my boy were all present!
.JPG)
Kerry sitting with one in the oven, Kelly, Bob, me and Dean
.JPG)
Chris, Tab, me and Tom
So for all the people in this post, I want to express my thanks. You make my life exciting, adventurous, fun and amazing, and I love you for it.
How does one end such a summer? Simple. You end a long distance relationship that spanned eight states and lasted for three years. And you shorten the distance from 1,000 miles to several inches. Welcome back to NY, Maureen!
Love you, baby! Forever and a day!
Thursday, August 8, 2013
It's Official: I'm Difficult
So the robots roaming Clearwater, FL, have determined, in their infinitely numb wisdom, that I'm a difficult person. Coming from them, that's a badge of honor! Scientologists beware: I'm anathema to the brainwashing process! And thank you dear mindless Scientologists. I always wanted to use the word anathema. Finally!
This blog has taken a turn from a lovely lesbian to a loathsome L. Ron Hubbard loving leech.
Just how was this precious honor bestowed upon me by this mindless "let's all follow a failed sci-fi writer" crowd? Simple. My ex remarried a Scientologist. He seemed like a decent guy who did well by my son, Jason. I am purposely skipping many personal details. After all, break ups and divorces are a dime a dozen. This entry contains two. Now that's foreshadowing! Can you guess how this entry ends? Smart crowd! But read on anyway...
One fine December 19 evening (oh I can recall details when I want to!) I arrived at their house on Eastern Long Island to take my boy to his Boy Scouts pack meeting. My ex and her husband, Robert (no anonymity here; my blog!) said that they were leaving in 10 days to spend six weeks in Florida. "So where is Jason going to stay?" Pretty reasonable opening question on my part. "Oh, we've enrolled him in a school in Clearwater" was Robert's unreasonable reply. This led to a slightly louder and less amicable conversation in their kitchen. Which school did this mindless idiot enroll my son in? Clearwater Academy International, where little minds from all over the world get washed as their parents seek some sort of mind washing and wallet clearing training of their own in the Scientology Capital of the World! Arrive with your thoughts, leave with ours. The school is operated by Applied Scholastics, which instructs its students in some whackadoo "tech" instruction inspired by the failed sci-fi writer named above. Jason leaving his school for six weeks to attend this mind-to-mush institution? Never! Adrenaline kicked in, and luckily so did logic. I told Robert that Jason wasn't going and that if he required six weeks of Clearwater "training" to run his irrigation business (no offense, man, but you deliver water from point A to point B), that he was going to have to find other living arrangements for Jason during that time. With some sort of Hubbard inspired balls, he said that "we're going anyway!" Game on, Dillweed!
Honestly, I was scared. Nothing scares me more than my boy moving far away. Losing him in any way is my Achilles Heel. Couple that with a deluge of robotic programming that instructs followers to shun those who don't acknowledge the wonders and brilliance of this "religion," and the series of sleepless nights and increased blood pressure began.
Robert and I got into it pretty good in his kitchen. I was relentless and cut him down to size before taking Jason to his pack meeting. I was seething and kicked his mental ass in his kitchen in front of his wife. He went silent. Mental Midget down!
The next several days were spent researching this school and developing an obsession with Clearwater. The more I learned, the scarier the prospect of Jason attending, no matter how slim, became. I drove out there two days later, a Friday, and Natalie was home alone with Jason. I unleashed on her, which I still feel badly about, but it had to be done. Jason wasn't going and that was my final decision. She cried. Jason and I left.
I had the pleasure of answering Robert's phone calls that weekend. I credit him for his persistence. It was either persistence or he really enjoyed hearing me say, "Jason isn't going and that's not negotiable. If you want to take a kid out of school and enroll him in some bullshit unaccredited institution, do it to your own son but you're not fucking up mine." His persistence continued: "the school would work on Jason's NY school's curriculum." "Really Robert, should I leave my pants up while you jerk me around?" I love that line and am thankful that he provided me with an opportunity to say it...to him.
Maureen (girlfriend from previous post) was in town visiting me during this time. I give her a lot of credit because I was a man possessed and so much of my mental energy was focused on Clearwater and keeping Jason out of it. She was a brilliant support! I'm certain that she, along with quite a few others, would agree that I'm difficult...
I decided to write a superbly legal sounding letter to a couple of school personnel at CAI, which basically stated that they weren't to provide any educational or tutoring instruction to Jason at all without my expressed written consent (saying expressed written consent makes it superbly legal sounding). I sent a copy to the Florida Department of Education, not that they had any sway over CAI given that the school was unaccredited. But it sure looked good as a cc on the letter. I also sent a copy to Jason's current school and must express gratitude to his principal for his support throughout this mess.
Several days went by. Since it was the holiday season the school was closed. Robert's calls stopped. I wasn't hearing from Natalie either. That was the odd part because even though we're divorced we've always maintained regular communication. Much of it concerned Jason. But some of it was just kind of friendly and funny stuff. So the silence was odd. My Jason pick ups and drop offs were awkwardly silent and cold.
And then came the morning of January 3. Robert called me and stated that he realized they couldn't take Jason and enroll him without my consent. Glad that sunk in! I met them the next night at Chuck E Cheese to try to patch things up. Robert and Natalie were still going to Florida but Jason was going to stay at a local friend's house and remain in NY. Blood pressure normal!
Only their trip lasted three weeks and they returned early. Something obviously happened but I never spoke to Natalie about it.
On the same Saturday that my hot Cherry Grove lesbian date from my previous blog post ended, Natalie called me and asked to meet me at her parents' house later that afternoon. She said that there was a situation that she needed to tell me about. I instantly thought that there was something medically wrong with her and got a bit scared. Doesn't take much to remind you that we're humans with hearts rather than beings living as proscribed by a legal agreement.
Natalie and I stepped into her parents' backyard and she proceeded to tell me that things weren't good at home, that Robert was abusive (the details aren't necessary to repeat here) and that she was pursuing a divorce. She said that she felt stupid for staying with him for so long before deciding to leave him. It was a sad moment and she was very emotional. Humans with hearts...
The days since have been rough for her, with lawyers and courts and a restraining order filed. But we decided to have dinner with Jason last night. And she filled me in on Robert's thinking and her take on the Clearwater situation. She was thankful that I stood up to Robert because she didn't really want Jason to enroll in that school either. She needed to see Clearwater to understand what it was her husband was going to pursue and ultimately leave her alone for six weeks for. She said he became so controlling and abusive during that time - said that she was torn and should have pursued a divorce then. And when the school called him to inform him that they received my letter and that Jason couldn't attend, he became enraged. They labeled me as a difficult person.
That's a proud label to have when you save your son! Thank you, Clearwater!
Robert, I never had an issue with you prior to December. But then you moved in on my turf and tried to steal my boy. You got what you deserved. Dillweed! Mind numb unoriginal thinking monster! You voluntarily surrendered your mind and now you're going to lose everything else. You're too dumb to be difficult!
This blog has taken a turn from a lovely lesbian to a loathsome L. Ron Hubbard loving leech.
Just how was this precious honor bestowed upon me by this mindless "let's all follow a failed sci-fi writer" crowd? Simple. My ex remarried a Scientologist. He seemed like a decent guy who did well by my son, Jason. I am purposely skipping many personal details. After all, break ups and divorces are a dime a dozen. This entry contains two. Now that's foreshadowing! Can you guess how this entry ends? Smart crowd! But read on anyway...
One fine December 19 evening (oh I can recall details when I want to!) I arrived at their house on Eastern Long Island to take my boy to his Boy Scouts pack meeting. My ex and her husband, Robert (no anonymity here; my blog!) said that they were leaving in 10 days to spend six weeks in Florida. "So where is Jason going to stay?" Pretty reasonable opening question on my part. "Oh, we've enrolled him in a school in Clearwater" was Robert's unreasonable reply. This led to a slightly louder and less amicable conversation in their kitchen. Which school did this mindless idiot enroll my son in? Clearwater Academy International, where little minds from all over the world get washed as their parents seek some sort of mind washing and wallet clearing training of their own in the Scientology Capital of the World! Arrive with your thoughts, leave with ours. The school is operated by Applied Scholastics, which instructs its students in some whackadoo "tech" instruction inspired by the failed sci-fi writer named above. Jason leaving his school for six weeks to attend this mind-to-mush institution? Never! Adrenaline kicked in, and luckily so did logic. I told Robert that Jason wasn't going and that if he required six weeks of Clearwater "training" to run his irrigation business (no offense, man, but you deliver water from point A to point B), that he was going to have to find other living arrangements for Jason during that time. With some sort of Hubbard inspired balls, he said that "we're going anyway!" Game on, Dillweed!
Honestly, I was scared. Nothing scares me more than my boy moving far away. Losing him in any way is my Achilles Heel. Couple that with a deluge of robotic programming that instructs followers to shun those who don't acknowledge the wonders and brilliance of this "religion," and the series of sleepless nights and increased blood pressure began.
Robert and I got into it pretty good in his kitchen. I was relentless and cut him down to size before taking Jason to his pack meeting. I was seething and kicked his mental ass in his kitchen in front of his wife. He went silent. Mental Midget down!
The next several days were spent researching this school and developing an obsession with Clearwater. The more I learned, the scarier the prospect of Jason attending, no matter how slim, became. I drove out there two days later, a Friday, and Natalie was home alone with Jason. I unleashed on her, which I still feel badly about, but it had to be done. Jason wasn't going and that was my final decision. She cried. Jason and I left.
I had the pleasure of answering Robert's phone calls that weekend. I credit him for his persistence. It was either persistence or he really enjoyed hearing me say, "Jason isn't going and that's not negotiable. If you want to take a kid out of school and enroll him in some bullshit unaccredited institution, do it to your own son but you're not fucking up mine." His persistence continued: "the school would work on Jason's NY school's curriculum." "Really Robert, should I leave my pants up while you jerk me around?" I love that line and am thankful that he provided me with an opportunity to say it...to him.
Maureen (girlfriend from previous post) was in town visiting me during this time. I give her a lot of credit because I was a man possessed and so much of my mental energy was focused on Clearwater and keeping Jason out of it. She was a brilliant support! I'm certain that she, along with quite a few others, would agree that I'm difficult...
I decided to write a superbly legal sounding letter to a couple of school personnel at CAI, which basically stated that they weren't to provide any educational or tutoring instruction to Jason at all without my expressed written consent (saying expressed written consent makes it superbly legal sounding). I sent a copy to the Florida Department of Education, not that they had any sway over CAI given that the school was unaccredited. But it sure looked good as a cc on the letter. I also sent a copy to Jason's current school and must express gratitude to his principal for his support throughout this mess.
Several days went by. Since it was the holiday season the school was closed. Robert's calls stopped. I wasn't hearing from Natalie either. That was the odd part because even though we're divorced we've always maintained regular communication. Much of it concerned Jason. But some of it was just kind of friendly and funny stuff. So the silence was odd. My Jason pick ups and drop offs were awkwardly silent and cold.
And then came the morning of January 3. Robert called me and stated that he realized they couldn't take Jason and enroll him without my consent. Glad that sunk in! I met them the next night at Chuck E Cheese to try to patch things up. Robert and Natalie were still going to Florida but Jason was going to stay at a local friend's house and remain in NY. Blood pressure normal!
Only their trip lasted three weeks and they returned early. Something obviously happened but I never spoke to Natalie about it.
On the same Saturday that my hot Cherry Grove lesbian date from my previous blog post ended, Natalie called me and asked to meet me at her parents' house later that afternoon. She said that there was a situation that she needed to tell me about. I instantly thought that there was something medically wrong with her and got a bit scared. Doesn't take much to remind you that we're humans with hearts rather than beings living as proscribed by a legal agreement.
Natalie and I stepped into her parents' backyard and she proceeded to tell me that things weren't good at home, that Robert was abusive (the details aren't necessary to repeat here) and that she was pursuing a divorce. She said that she felt stupid for staying with him for so long before deciding to leave him. It was a sad moment and she was very emotional. Humans with hearts...
The days since have been rough for her, with lawyers and courts and a restraining order filed. But we decided to have dinner with Jason last night. And she filled me in on Robert's thinking and her take on the Clearwater situation. She was thankful that I stood up to Robert because she didn't really want Jason to enroll in that school either. She needed to see Clearwater to understand what it was her husband was going to pursue and ultimately leave her alone for six weeks for. She said he became so controlling and abusive during that time - said that she was torn and should have pursued a divorce then. And when the school called him to inform him that they received my letter and that Jason couldn't attend, he became enraged. They labeled me as a difficult person.
That's a proud label to have when you save your son! Thank you, Clearwater!
Robert, I never had an issue with you prior to December. But then you moved in on my turf and tried to steal my boy. You got what you deserved. Dillweed! Mind numb unoriginal thinking monster! You voluntarily surrendered your mind and now you're going to lose everything else. You're too dumb to be difficult!
Monday, August 5, 2013
My Lesbian Dates!
So I have a most awesome girlfriend...
NICE!! Hot and sexy and super sweet (we also have mutual friends who are drawn to cowboy hats)!
And...
she introduced me to and forced me to "date" her lesbian friend...
SUPER NICE!!
That's me with my lesbian girlfriend in front of some sort of red carpet display advertising an underwear party on Cherry Grove, where lesbians the world over aspire to visit. You see, Cherry Grove is the gay and lesbian mecca! And even for a straight man, the place is fun as hell! It's also funny as hell when famous comedians get drunk off their ass...
NICE!! Hot and sexy and super sweet (we also have mutual friends who are drawn to cowboy hats)!
And...
she introduced me to and forced me to "date" her lesbian friend...
SUPER NICE!!
That's me with my lesbian girlfriend in front of some sort of red carpet display advertising an underwear party on Cherry Grove, where lesbians the world over aspire to visit. You see, Cherry Grove is the gay and lesbian mecca! And even for a straight man, the place is fun as hell! It's also funny as hell when famous comedians get drunk off their ass...
On cue...that's Wanda Sykes drunk off her ass and wearing a Wonder Woman cape.
So how did my sexy lesbian girlfriend, Joanne, and I end up here? Simple. My super awesome, and super sexy, girlfriend, Maureen, encouraged us to meet up and go on our first date in April. It was a wonderfully super conservative date over an Italian dinner. Great conversation. And great conversation. And since it was a Tuesday night and a work night for me, the conversation unfortunately had to end. She flew back to Northern California and we both knew that there would be a date #2. Both because we really enjoyed date #1 and also because our dates slightly entertain and also slightly irk (in a loving way, of course) my non-lesbian girlfriend.
Joanne and I had planned to go out last Tuesday night. Smartly, she canceled and asked to reschedule. So we did, and a sushi dinner (at Kotobuki in Hauppauge, NY) was planned for Friday night. I picked her up at her brother's house and she told him that we'd go out for dinner and a drink afterwards and then she'd be home. And, technically, that was true.
As we sat down for dinner and downed some effective unfiltered sake, one of us brought up Cherry Grove. I'd like to think it was her because I'm straight and a straight guy even under sake's influence shouldn't be leading off with Cherry Grove conversations. Joanne mentioned that it had been years (as a gentleman, there will be no age references that might perturb the two women I'm simultaneously dating) since she had visited Fire Island. As it was slightly after 7:00pm and neither of us had any time commitments until the following afternoon, we embraced our spontaneity and decided that our after dinner drinks would be downed on Cherry Grove. Many after dinner drinks. After dinner drinks at Cherry's, after dinner drinks while watching a Wonder Woman drag show (hello Wanda!) at the Ice Palace and more after dinner drinks back on Cherry's dance floor.
We contemplated staying beyond the final ferry home at 12:40am. It seemed so rational: drinking till 4:00am, crashing on the beach and then enjoying some delicious breakfast pizza at Cherry's Pizza before catching the 8:00am ferry home, but we decided against that after some quick smart phone research revealed that the Ice Palace was booked for the night - not that the beach during a rainy night wouldn't have been comfortable.
So Joanne will eventually visit NY again and we'll inevitably enjoy date #3. We'll go out on a Friday or Saturday night to allow for some impromptu multi-day enjoyment. And in between now and then maybe I'll get engaged. That's seems like the right thing to do in between lesbian dates.
In all seriousness, Maureen and Joanne are amazing women and are best friends...at least for now :-)
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